Sharing the loss of my beautiful 22 year old daughter, Heather, to mental illness and suicide. This came out of the blue and there is hope. Suicide doesn't stop the pain. It just transfers the pain to someone you love and care about. If you are in crisis, in the USA, call the
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or
Text Free 24/7 a day - START - to 741-741
I am tired of hearing so much garbage being spewed around. Enough is enough! Below are my opinions and you may feel differently, and that is your choice. I just need to get this out of my system.
Color Doesn't Matter!
I am a human being. I was born on Earth, in a state called New Jersey. My religion is love. My politics are peace. Period. I don't care what color your skin is, but I have had the race card thrown at me quite a few times in my life. I had one girl work for me and yes, her skin was black. No problem there. She was a single Mom with 2 kids. I actually tried to work with her. Now, due to circumstances beyond her control, she was in an automobile accident. She was out of work for a couple of weeks and I had a choice to make. I could either hire someone else or, put in the extra hours to do her job so that she had a job to come back to. I opted to do her job for her. Now, she normally worked about 50-60 hours a week so I knew I was going to have my hands full with a l…
I just really need a break now. My mind is still hurting and since summer is my favorite season, I am going to try to enjoy it. I will be back with more in the Fall! Enjoy your summer! See you soon! Again, feel free to message me if you need anything!
Another birthday without you here on Earth with us. I have to say, I have the 3 best daughters in the world. Yes, Heather, you are included in that. I miss you so much! I don't know how I am going to live with this pain for the rest of my life.
I remember when you were born. We were all so excited when you arrived. You were (and are) perfect in every single way. I was so nervous something was going to be wrong but all was better than I could have ever hoped. Granted, I really don't like hospitals, but you were so perfect, we were on our way home hours after you arrived.
One of your favorite things to do was to pose. I think this is one of my favorite pictures. It's so funny to watch Carter. He doesn't do it as often as he used to, but he will still pose sometimes like this. He really loves you. We all miss you so much. I know I am supposed to think of happy memories with you, but all those happy memories are also tied into the memories that I have now without you. I w…
The nation, no, the world, is in crisis and it is getting out of control. Our brains are so complex, and have so much information packed into them every single day. They are simply amazing but sometimes, things don't work the way they are supposed to and then, well, things can go wrong. Things can go very wrong.
WedMD has a pretty good listing of everything that is covered by Mental Health. You can click here to see the various types and what they have to say about them. Anxiety Disorders, Mood Disorders, Psychotic Disorders, Eating Disorders, Impulse Control and Addiction Disorders, Personality Disorders, Obsession-Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders and a few smaller ones too. Just take a minute and read this over and then come back, and I'll give you the rest of my thoughts.
Impulse Control and Addiction Disorders. Maybe that's all I need to say? Maybe not. This one area of Mental Health alone is so crippling to so many. Some will read this and say, &q…
No one is perfect, but we can all try to be better every single day! Heather didn't want to be in this world and, to be honest, I don't blame her. No, I am not going to join her, but I am going to try to be a better person every day of my life.
Do you have problems in your life? Me too! We all do! The question is, how do you deal with your problems? Is it everyone else's fault or is the problem in decisions that we have made. Yes, there are situations where good people get hurt for no apparent reason, but I'm not talking about that.
Do you think everyone judges you? Are you judging yourself? Are you trying to make changes and feel like people doubt you? Well, depending on some of the choices you have made in the past, it may take a while for people to believe you. Maybe some of your choices hurt others. However, if you are changing for the better, keep changing. You won't convince people that you have changed by your words. You need to show them the changes by you…
Every day I wake up and feel the pain again of never seeing Heather again. Heather was such a beautiful person. She did her best to make everyone else happy, but she wasn't happy herself. You can't live life that way. It cost Heather her life and I miss her so much.
I wrote to you before about trying to increase your dopamine levels by what we eat and I have to say, it is helping some. It doesn't ease the pain, but it does help me get things done a little easier. I still have no desire to hang out with others. I know I have to work on that. It gets so hard just trying to deal with people. I think where we get together with a bunch of friends is the hardest. Heather was always there with us and now, she isn't.
Part of me feels very guilty. I know I should be more social but at the same time, so people really want someone dealing with such depression at a party? I tried on Memorial Day weekend when our neighbors had a BBQ. I basically spent most of the day inside our ap…
Just because everyone says something, that doesn't make it right. One thing that I have heard and seen on my social media walls, is "I wish you would just die." Really? Yes, it is a very common phrase, but it is a very hurtful saying.
Imagine for a second that you have a huge fight with someone that you know. No, you aren't really close, but something happened where the person just really hurt you somehow. So, during your argument, you utter the words, "Why don't you just do the world a favor and kill yourself!" I want you to take that a step further. You wake up the next day and there, all over your social media is that this person committed suicide. OMG The last thing you said to them was to kill themselves and then they did exactly that. I don't know about you, but for me, that would lead to a lot of guilt.
What you didn't know was that before your argument, they were trying to decide if life was worth it or not. You worked in a job that you…
These are so yummy! The recipe can be found here on Jamie Cooks It Up. OK, now she made them in one pan and cut them into bars. I love the mini cups myself and if they are the silicone, that's even better! Whatever you bake just pops right out. I ordered one set on Amazon and I love them! Since the silicone pans are very flexible I also put them on my large baking pan. It slides right in the oven perfectly and I can put 2 silicone trays on the same pan! Win-win!
So, instead of baking like they were all in one pan, I sprayed the silicone trays with Pam and baked them for only 18 minutes. I did split the recipe in half and I still got almost 3 dozen mini cups. I also used mini-chocolate chips instead of the regular ones! They came out perfectly!
I must tell you that if you purchase these through my link, I may earn a small commission. I was not paid to tell you about these. I bought these products on my own and love them, so I am sharing them with you!
How do you know if someone you love is contemplating suicide? You don't! So how can you make a difference and try to help stop the pain and try to save some lives? You can just try to make the world a better place. Every day, just try to do one nice thing for someone. I'm not talking something huge here. Are you stopping on your way to work and getting a cup of coffee somewhere? Treat the person behind you to a cup. See the person staring down at their shoes trying to look invisible? Give them a compliment. "Hey, nice shoes!" "You have a beautiful smile." Doing something nice for someone doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg. It can cost a little as a few seconds of your time and offering someone a compliment.
You can't read someone else's mind. The person that is walking next to you, laughing at some joke you are telling, smiling at the world, could be contemplating ending their lives and you wouldn't even know it. Many, like Heather, thin…
That may sound strange coming from someone with a blog based around suicide, but it's true. There is no off button to being a mom that loses a child to suicide. You go out and yes, you can hear people talk about it like you weren't there. Most people don't even want to acknowledge it. After all, it could happen to them and no one wants to even go there.
Hiding under a bushel is not the answer. Well, for me, sometimes, it is. And yes, right now I am in hibernation. I just need a break from it for a bit. I will continue writing, but I also need some time for me away from others. I had someone tell me that at least I knew this was a possibility. Really? I had no clue. This came from out of the blue to me. I knew my daughter would give her heart and soul to someone in need. I knew she worked hard. I knew she was taking classes to try to become an EMT. She talked about goals, she didn't talk about ending her life.
Suicide is one of the topics that is very hard to talk abou…