Rest in Peace
Heather Suzanne Crespo
July 16, 1993 - October 26, 2015
My beautiful daughter, Heather Suzanne Crespo, was only 22 years old. She left so many of us behind. She truly touched everyone's lives who were lucky enough to meet her.The hardest thing right now is the question everyone is asking and the one I really don't know the answer to. Why is she now gone from our lives? She isn't with us anymore because she gave too much of her heart and soul.
When comedian Robin Williams passed away, the world truly felt his loss, A lot of us learned so much from him during his lifetime. He made us laugh and forget our problems for a while. We learned even more after. Depression is very real and sometimes the ones that feel it the most, strive their hardest to ease the depression of everyone around them. They know what it feels to hurt and they try their best to make sure that others stop feeling that. In turn, their hurt just builds until they can't shut it out anymore.
Is this the true reason that my baby is gone? I don't know. She was over with Carter and I on her last day, we had lunch, we laughed, we played. We had a great day! Everyone that saw her that day said she was laughing and having a good time. My head is still reeling from all that is going on around me.
I keep playing so many scenes over in my head. Did I miss something? Was something really hurting her and I missed it? What could I have seen? I see my baby, laughing and having a good time. Studying hard to make her life have meaning. She worked with people because she loved helping them. She was always laughing, from when she was little! She loved to make faces and just try to make us all laugh.
What could I have done? Could I have done anything? I don't know but I do know that I would have tried to talk to her more about depression. No, I did not know she was depressed, that wasn't her. She was trying to shield us from her pain. There are many around us that are hurting and just bottle it all up inside.
What I would do differently now? What I will continue to do differently from now on? I will talk a little more about depression, and how it's real and how talking about it could really help a person out. Remind people there are many counselors and therapists. Remind them that they don't have to feel the pain. Let everyone know. We aren't in this life to just help others, we have to help ourselves too. We can't bottle things up and just take care of everyone else. We all need to take care of ourselves.
Because some people really do learn to cover it up, we need to talk to everyone about it. Remind people that it is real, and while talking about it, remind them to tell the people they know too. Maybe together we can make sure that no one else feels the loss and the sorrow that we are feeling for Heather now. Maybe by talking it, and sharing that people are there to help anyone that needs it, just maybe our message will help a few more.
Heather grew up to be a beautiful woman, inside and out. Maybe, if we can care enough, just all be a little more like Heather, maybe together, we can all continue to make her life a true gift to others. This is how we can all keep Heather around us - carry the beauty of her soul in ourselves, and share that beauty with the world around us.
Next time you share something funny, remember to share something that could help others too. Yes laughter is one of the best medicines, but we also have to let it heal ourselves too. Let's all strive to be like my baby, my beautiful daughter, the woman that was beautiful inside and out.
Rest in peace Heather. I can't imagine what my life is going to be like without you. I have such a huge hole in my life. I truly wish I could turn back time, and really sit down and help you but I am too late and nothing can change that. I will try to live my life and make you smile and be proud of me for being the best that I can be, inside and out. You are always in my heart, baby. Not even death can take you from me. Your love is just that strong! I love you!
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