Thursday, December 10, 2015
If Only There Was a Heaven Protection Service
I had a wonderful dream last night. Heather came back and told us that she could come back but that we had to move to where no one knew us. Hands down, we were ready to do this. It was so real. I just knew it was true. The first thing she wanted was my tablet so she could go online and see what all her friends were up to. We talked, we hugged and I was just so happy to have her back home.
Waking up was another story. I woke up so excited and then I saw my tablet where I keep it and it all crashed down and told me it was just a great dream. I am thankful that I had some time with her, if only in my dreams. Not a day goes by that we don't think of her and wish she was here with us. I know when my time is up, I will get to see her in Heaven, but I also know that it will take a while for that to happen.
We have been able to start our Christmas baking and got some cookies shipped off to Carol and my Dad down in Florida. They will all have plenty to share with their friends. My Dad sounds like he is starting to do a little better. I hope so. It's just so hard. Part of me wishes that we at least were down in Florida so I could check in on him. I also miss Carol, but she is making a life for herself and I am happy that she is happy. Yes, she misses us, but we have Skype and we talk on the phone quite often. It helps.
Next month we are going to visit with Carol for a little bit. It will be nice to see her, but at the same time, I don't want to leave Heather's stuff here behind. I look at it all the time. I am happy it is back on the bookcase on display. It's my way of keeping her with me. I know everyone deals with suicide differently, but this is how I am doing it. I didn't think I could do it, but when Amy and Carol made those murals for the funeral home, they came to my room so it just seemed right to complete the picture with the things she loved.
Now, time to get some other things done. I wish there was a program called Heaven Protection, where our loved ones could come back, even if it was only for a day. It would help so many people, but alas, I look forward to the dreams with Heather that I am able to have and remember. The dreams I know I have and can't remember are the hardest ones. Last night was a blessing. I am able to remember it. Those I treasure.