Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Depression is Cruel

Depression can be one of the worst things you can experience. Depression can gradually suck the life out of you. Depression can leave you feeling so hopeless, so lost, so alone, that you feel like there is no reason to keep living. Depression can lie. Depression can be helped. Depression is not the end of the game.

It would be nice if you could just stick out your tongue, say ah, and magically have depression diagnosed and cured. It's not like that. The reality is that depression is not easy to diagnose. There are no tests or signs that are going to point to it and say ah-ha, we got this and we can easily cure it. The cure can be difficult. The first step is to accept it. Accept the lies and try to work through it.

You don't need to hide in shame because you just feel lost and so intensely sad that it is hard sometimes to even breathe. I think that is the biggest problem. People get ashamed and don't want to let others know how they feel. They feel like something is wrong with them that can't be helped. They feel so lost and alone, so embarrassed that something like this could get to them. There is no reason to be embarrassed. They need help. Sometimes the hardest part is actually admitting it. Once you can admit it, you have to take the steps to figure out why you are so depressed.

I have made many poor choices in my life. One choice can lead to another and then another. Until I accepted that I was depressed, I was so knotted up inside, I couldn't tell which way was up and which way was just going to keep me spinning in a circle. At one point, I remember fainting hearing my girls call my name. To me, it sounded like their voices were so far off. It sounded like they were a million miles away. In reality, I was sitting on a couch and my girls were standing next to me, calling my name. The love of my girls got me back into reality. I made the decision right then and there that I could not go back down that path to oblivion.

When depression starts eating you alive, just find one thing - one thing that let's you know that something or someone is greater than you. Something or someone is worth fighting depression for. Something or someone can be there to help you. Don't get yourself stuck in the black hole of depression. Find a way. Talk to a therapist. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your friends or family. Talk to someone and take the first step to getting out of your head and into some help. It's never too late.