I Don't Want the Attention
So many times people are hurting and they won't let anyone know. Mental Illness becomes something to be embarrassed about instead of getting the help that is needed. The stigma attached to Mental Illness is real and needs to end. From what I have read, 1 in 5 people suffer from some sort of Mental Illness. Instead of trying to find ways to help all those in need, they try to hide the problem and try to make it go away quietly. That is not working. We need real revolution here. We need people to stand up and let them know that there is a way to slow down the rise of suicides and drug addiction.
My baby wasn't a drug addict, but she did choose to end her own life. If she hadn't committed suicide, most likely, she still would have ended her life through drugs. Either way, it's very hard. You see a life that is full of potential and they see a life that is slowly eating away at their soul. I wish I had done things differently, but Heather was great at hiding her true feelings. She spent her days trying to help others. I think she felt that even if she was miserable, she could do her best to make sure that everyone else had the support that they needed. I didn't know she needed it.
She may have felt that we wouldn't have believed her. That we would just think that she wanted attention. No matter what, we would have done anything for her. She just didn't believe that there was anything to stop the pain. With the numbers involved in today's society, we have to make sure that everyone knows that there is a way to end the pain without having to end their lives. We have to make sure that there is a way to get off of drugs and really get our lives back on track. We need to have compassion. We need to care.
Some people have told me that I am strong. I never know what to say. I find it so hard just to make it through each day. I cry every day. We just spent a week visiting with Carol in Florida and at times, I was really finding it hard even to have a conversation. I was trying to just enjoy the time with Carol and everyone down there. I must admit, the car ride did kill my back and knees, so I am glad that we are home now, even though I still miss Carol and I really don't like waking up to ice and snow. I didn't want the trip marred by tears so I tried by best to enjoy everything that we did. Still, the absence of Heather was truly felt by all.
They say time will help. I have to believe them. What I also have to do is make sure that I tell you that if you are suffering from any form of Mental Illness, get the help! There is a way to stop the pain and the first step is to admit that you have a problem. Until someone knows that you have a problem, things will just get worse. There is help available. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. There is nothing to be ashamed of.