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Showing posts from May, 2016

Cut Through the Fog

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One of the comfortable places I have found now is .... the fog. When the pain gets too hard to deal with at times, I simply let the fog take over and try to focus on mindless tasks. Welcome to my fog. I would love to say that I met the fog when I lost Heather, but that wouldn't be the truth. I met the fog long ago in my youth. I did, however, master the fog since Heather. It's a safe place. The pain is numbed but, that means my life is also numbed. I haven't been able to find a way around that. So, I guess my step is taking control of my fog. Scary thought.

Before I continue with this part of the story, I want to say something. Everything that happened to me is my fault. Others may have played a role, but in the end, the final decisions were mine. I love my Mom but she will only hear/read about this from Heaven. I can't tell her some of my decisions and that is ok. I will always still love her and talk with her. Anyway, when I was really little, I used to love the com…

I Am So Done

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I am so done with fake people. I am so done with people sharing stories about other people without all the facts. I am so done with entitlement. I am so done with so many things. I am not done with trying to help people. I am not done with trying to make people aware of mental illness and all the ramifications that come with it.

It seems that I hear about the useless loss of another life more and more frequently. Each one I hear about feels like a knife to my heart. I know the pain the other family is feeling and I know that those feelings could have been prevented. What is causing so many problems? Well, life is. Life as we know it has changed so much over the years. We need to bring back some positive thinking to life. 
So many in life are raised to think they are entitled to everything and when that doesn't happen, it throws them off. Let's start raising the next generation to be important but not to expect everything handed to them on a silver platter. Let's go back a…

Holidays and Birthdays Can Be So Painful

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Mother's Day came and in it's wake, the pain was in full force surrounding my heart and soul. It was so painful without my Mom and my daughter. I tried to share the emotions that were going on in my heart, but I just couldn't get anything more out than tears. I would say, this was the most painful holiday so far. Maybe that's because my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas all came too close on the heels of our loss that it couldn't register. I don't know, but I do know that the pain was too intense for me.

If you ask me what I did this past week, I couldn't tell you. I played with Carter, I vegged out in front of a TV, I just tried to shut my mind down as completely as I could. Yes, I will admit that at one point, I remember thinking that maybe Heather's solution was my answer, but there is a big flaw in that thought. The pain I was feeling would have been added to the pain that my other daughters were feeling and that wasn't an option. I just had…

The Monster In Your Closet is Closer Than You Think

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When we are young, our parents teach us that there is no monster in the closet, but are they right? I don't think so. No, the monster isn't dripping saliva down it's fangs, the monster is usually someone that could live right next door to you, sometimes even within the same house! Monsters do exist and we need to share that fact.

This isn't my story, but it easily could have been. Today I want to share a story with you about a beautiful woman. A woman, that if you met her, would know that she is very happy, very upbeat - but inside, struggles with wanting to end her life at times. Most people never get to meet that side of her, although she is speaking out about the traumas in her life that led her to this point.

Imagine, for a second, that you are her. She thought she had everything in the world. Those that met her thought her life was perfect. She did too. One day, all that changed for her, leaving her suffering from PTSD. The day that was to change her life drastic…

What's Your Story?

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Quite often, on our blog, we share stories of the loss of some great people. We also want to include those success stories that people are willing to share with us. Has something made you think of suicide or drugs and something or someone stopped you? We would love to share your story! Please contact us and we will work with you to get your story shared! These are important stories and people need to know that there is hope available. Contact us here on our blog and use our contact form or on our Facebook page and we will work with you to get your story shared.

There are so many reasons that people choose the paths they take. When I was younger, I learned all about molestation and rape. The main problem was, I was told to hide it. Don't share or people will think less of you. What did that teach me? It taught me to think less of myself. Don't hide your problems. By the time I was in junior high school, I tried to take my life. No, I wasn't successful, but I learned then t…