All of us are unique individuals. Every day of our lives, we all change a little more. Our job, each and every single day, is to try to make ourselves a little better. Change is not easy, but it is possible. Is there something that is stressing you? Is there something that makes you cry? These things can change or at least, we can change how we approach things and people.
When are kids are little, we raise them and try to make their lives the best we can. We took this picture of Heather when we were down in Chincoteague. We had these huge 12 foot kites and Heather was upset because she wasn't allowed to fly it. Well, she could hold the string with us, but the wind was pretty strong and Heather was so little, it was literally starting to lift her off the ground. She ran everywhere that vacation - just trying to be airborne. She was a little upset that we wouldn't let her fly, but as her parents, we had to say no - you can't let the kite fly away with you. Not going to happen.
Saying no is not always easy, especially when it involves our kids. Sometimes, however, no is the only acceptable answer. Too many kids these days are being raised to do what they want, with no consequences. All of our choices in life have an effect on the next moments in our life. Too many times, parents are not saying no. When something goes wrong, instead of making our kids step up and own what they did, we try to smooth things over for them. It's natural to want to protect your kids. Just remember, our job as parents is to protect them, yes, but also to teach them. Too often instead of teaching them, we offer up excuses for our kids. That doesn't help anyone. We need to learn to take responsibility.
I love all my kids, they are great. That doesn't mean that they are perfect, none of us are. No, I didn't beat them when they did wrong, but they learned when they did something wrong, there would be a consequence. Then again, when they did something right, there was also a consequence. Not all consequences are bad. Each step of our journey gives us the opportunity to improve our lives. If we don't learn from our past, we are just going to make the same mistakes over and over. On the other side, if we don't tell them when they are on the right track, they may veer off into an area you don't want them to go.
I would do anything to have Heather back but I can't have her with my physically anymore. It doesn't mean that I stop thinking about her or talking to her. She will be with me every day for the rest of my life. I have found that sharing about mental health and suicide helps me to be with her. It's definitely not easy, but the other choice would be to crawl in a hole and spend the rest of my days in tears. That won't do my other girls any good. If I hid deep into my depression, my other girls would not only lose their sister, they would also lose their Mom.
I will admit losing myself sometimes feels like a wonderful thing. Just to get out of my head and stop feeling the pain. I could lose myself in drugs or alcohol, but that wouldn't do me or anyone else any good. That would make for more pain. I think we have all suffered enough pain with the loss of Heather. So, each day, we get all get up and function. Yes, we all breakdown now and then, but when the tears are shed for the day, we get up and we move on. Life is about moving on. Life is about getting things better.
If something is tearing you down, take the bulls by the horn and work on making it better. Are your bills piling up, try to do something. Try to consolidate the bills, try getting a 2nd job and getting some of these things paid off. Watch where the money goes. Build a budget, and stick to it. Try and give yourself some little rewards along the way, but each time you clear off a bill, celebrate a little bit and keep on going! One step at a time, we can build our lives a little better. Then, when the pieces start falling into place, just like Heather wanted to do with the kite, we can all feel a little lighter and feel our lives start to soar!