Happy Birthday Heather

Happy Birthday, baby. It kills me every day that I can't talk to you, can't see you, can't hold you, but special days are the hardest. You were such a beautiful person and I know you are a beautiful angel. I also know it's selfish of me, but I just want you back, with every fiber of my being.

If I could change anything, it would be to talk to you more. Tell you more often that you were worth it. Tell you that every single person has really bad days at one point in their life, but there are good days that are right around the corner. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry I didn't know how much you needed me. I wish you were better at believing how much you were loved by everyone. You had a heart of gold - a gold so pure that you touched so many lives. You made a difference to so many - including myself and your sisters. Even Carter was left a better person by you being in his life. I'm sorry he won't get to know you better except from what we tell him.

What do you give an angel for her birthday? An angel that has no more material wants and needs. An angel that needs no food or substance. I can't bake for you. I can't make you your favorite meals. I actually feel guilty because I don't know which movie you would want to go see for your birthday. You really loved going to the movies. I'm sure there would have been a few you wanted to see. I try to watch movies and shows, but in reality, shortly after I turn them off, the plot is gone from my mind.

You always loved to draw. I wish you kept more of your artwork, but we love the ones that we have. For your birthday, I wish you a day to play in the clouds to do some cloud painting. We're supposed to have some thunderstorms, so add them to your artwork. Make it gorgeous! Make it special! You are gorgeous and special and you deserve nothing less. Pour the power from any storm through your art and share the work for the world to see. We all know you were beautiful inside and out, but show the world your artwork in the clouds. Let me see what we all know.

When the thunder rumbles from the sky, make a beautiful song. I know you know the words to every song you ever liked - sing them loud and proud! Hey, we've lost some great musicians that are up there with you, have a party and hear the songs from some of the masters. Sing and dance and raise a drink to toast yourself. You are special. You will always be my baby. I may not be able to hold you in my arms, but you are in my heart. No go out there and rock the heavens and maybe, just maybe, if we listen and watch hard enough, we can see your artwork and hear the party!

I love you, Heather, always and forever. I wish you enough.


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