Sunday, January 8, 2017

Suicide Hurts Those Left Behind, Sometimes with Deadly Consequences


The pain of learning that your child ended their own life is a pain I hope you will never know. People say that you will eventually "get over it". That is the furthest thing from the truth. You never "get over it". You have to learn how to deal with the constant pain and move forward, always forward.

It's not unusual to hear stories of others following friends and family to the grave by suicide. That is so sad. One death is one too many. Multiple deaths are just too sad. I know I have come close a few times, except for the fact that I made a mutual promise with my daughters. None of us would take that route. The pain is too intense. Right now, whether you know someone that has taken their own life, make a promise to your friends and family - a mutual promise - that none of you will take that route.

It seems like funerals really do go in cycles, but those cycles are spreading more and more. I was talking to one friend, he just lost another friend to suicide this week. That was just a couple weeks after finding out another old friend had taken their life a couple of years ago. Yes, there was years between, but he found out within 3 weeks of each other and he was reeling from the pain. We need to end that cycle. We need to talk about our pain. We are not alone. So many feel the pain. Instead of ending your life because of the pain, talk to someone. What is it going to cost you to try to get help instead of packing it all in?

Heather was having a bad time. While she helped others, she held her pain in. She didn't think people would believe her. She thought people would think she was seeking attention. Who cares what they think? The only one truly important in this case is YOU. If you are hurting, get some help. There are crisis numbers you can call and text, I've left them on the image at the top of this post. No matter what you think, people are there to help.

I think 2017 should be a year of hope and gratitude. A year of working together with out neighbors and friends. A year of asking the tough question - How are you coping? - and actually listening to the answer and being there for the person if they need it. Let's stop judging and let's start making this world a better place to live.

Heather thought it was selfish to make her live in a world she didn't want to be in. My goal, while it won't bring Heather back, it to take steps to make my world a better place for those around me. Not with money (although that would help many). But with compassion. With an ear that will really listen without judging. Together, we can make a difference. Do something compassionate today, and every day! Start a trend!